What colour knickers you wearing…


Having decided to stay up until stupid o clock last night to watch wrestling  ( yes I like wrestling….I think i was one of those mind control experiments but that went wrong) I got the idea into my head to get fit. So there is was at bout 3am going doing press ups…dear jasus bad idea. I did 3 and then ended up panting like a perverted window Licker outside a bra shop. So as I lay on my back in the sitting room,fucked, wishing I’d never watched the wrestling, the thought hit me about one of the burning issues in the world….dating sites.


Being a single 30 something  ( i was engaged but she got abducted by aliens…a sad story) I have tried using dating sites. Why not everyone does. I mean you get sick of the bars where you have very few choices either go home with the town bike, the little miss can’t be wrong’s of this world who are looking for a husband or the girls who swear ” I’m 21″ till the next morning you see her father coming at you with a rusty hedge trimmer offering to do the sex change for free on you….so you can see why alot of guys go on dating sites.


So I set up my profile, put up my pic and all the bullshit and then emailed a few girls. I did the usual ” Hey How are you” or ” how was your day” and wait for reply. And yes they came. The first lot of replies were were from the women who ask ” have you a house” ” have you children ” ” what do you do” and when you tell them you re a musican and have 3 cats and no you don’t have €5million for them …well they re gone. If I had the money for a trophy wife I wouldn’t pick a mother of 3 ( with 3 different fathers) who looks like she started drinking para zone  because it’s cheaper than vodka ya stupid bitch. The next lot who get back you tell you that you’re boring and they want excitement in they re life but yet won’t travel, or buy a fast car or basically do anything exciting but still want you to be exciting…I got kinda pissed off to say the least.


So I  decided to do an experiment. I sent 10 messages to women of ” Hey How are you, how was your day” and 10 messages of ” what colour knickers you wearing” to 10 other women.  You won’t believe the results. Out of the first 10 I only got one reply to tell me I was too young for her ( but ur 36 Porta ….what fucking age was she….dam you photoshop) and out of the other 10 messages I got 9 replies!!! OK 2 where to tell me to fuck off and I was a pervert but the other 7 were laughing and out of that 7 I ve been on dates with 5 of them.


It’s weird there is a whole generation of now single women out there who got married too young and are now divorced and want to catch up on they re youth that they missed out on. It’s pretty good news for single guys like me. So guys if you need a chat up line ” what colour knickers you wearing ” is the best.


So I better do a bit on world news…I won’t go into the new shooting in America until tomorrow as I ve very few details and not 100% as to what happened. But in other news Syria worked out the best way to protest the putting up of a electricity pole in a village…blow up the village. No village no need for electricity pole. If the water charge protesters here get that idea we re fucked. The president of Turkey is still a dumb ass and the gathering of team Hilary begins today….just look for loads of people dressed like Harry Potter and flying on broomsticks…can’t miss it.


Until tomorrow guys and gals….make sure to wear yer knickers…

Love you all guys and gals 

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