With so much madness going on the world, I think it’s time I told you about an even stranger place…inside my head. Having been talking to a buddy last night about dreams some of my weirdest dreams came back to me. So I thought I’d share a few of them here ….they pretty screwed up.
There is a few things that always stay the same in my dreams….women are always taller than me….if I get in a fight I fight like a girl and ( now this is weird) if I get hurt in a dream I have the pain in real life!!! The following are dreams I ve had and situations I ve woken up to…brace yourself for weirdness.
DREAM ONE – the Taylor Swift dream of dread.
This one happened when I was living in a two bedroom apartment in the city. You know the type double bed, locker each side of the bed and a built-in wardrobe at the end of the bed. So one night a Finnish girl was staying over ( sorry no details…..I’m a gentleman) and well I nodded off to sleep with a smile. Then the dream happened.
I remember being on the back of a motorbike and there is a blonde driving the bike. Her hair is blowing back in my face and we re cruising through a very nice village…..suddenly we re going faster and faster and the village has changed to a road beside a cliff. The blonde then turns around so to me …..it’s Taylor Swift!!!she then screams into my face…” who is she..who is the bitch” ( for some reason I can’t speak) Taylor Swift then turns the bike towards the cliff laughing her head off and then screams ” we re never ever getting back together cause we ll be dead you bastard ” and keeps laughing her weird crazy laugh ( you know the one)… so just as the bike goes off the cliff, I guess I wake up and jump up in the bed and make a running jump headfirst straight into the wardrobe. The Finnish girl starts screaming in some language I don’t understand and I must have been out of it because I woke up in the morning still in the wardrobe covered in my own blood and a note stuck to my forehead that I only noticed when I got to the bathroom.. it said ” goodbye asshole” written backwards so I could only read it when I looked in the mirror ( clever girl) thenI realised the girl was missing and the wardrobe was in bits!!! Not a good start to a day.
I ve kinda run out of time today but there is two more dreams for tomorrow , that are way more fucked up than this.
So until tomorrow guys and gals…don’t cheat on Taylor Swift….
Love you all guys and gals…
Here’s why I had dream of Taylor Swift