Britney Spears, Selena Gomez, Jennifer Lawrence….forget them…all hail Tara Reid!!!! Part 1

Tomorrow i ll do a full bio of miss Reid and her career  ( or lack of one)…..but today is movie review time. So I ve picked two movies which are so bad that when the cast watched them for the first time, they went to the nearest field and then beat each other with fur bushes.  Yes put on either of these movies and will suddenly have no friends,what am I saying if you ve watched these movies you have no friends…..hang on …..I watched them…..OK we ll move on

THE DEVIL’S WOODS 

This is an Irish horror movie but the horror ain’t some weirdo in the woods no its the cast and crew. So the story is 4 scumbags ( well they re ment to be young irish couples but they are just scumbags) decide to leave Dublin for a weekend and camp near the hell fire club place is Wicklow ( someone forgot to tell the writer that the Irish hell fire club was just a bunch of piss heads and had nothing to do with hell).

 

So here is the scumbag lads who are in the movie to be eye candy for…? These two gimps can’t say a sentence without saying “bleeding ” and both of them have real spots and boils all over they re bodies and then there is the girls. Look when you watch a horror movie you just know that the women will be good looking….not in this movie. This movie went in another direction, let’s pick the 2 worst actresses there is,with fat arses, beer bellies and just generally….well scumbags.when it came to the sex scene one of the girls took her top off and I almost prayed that she didn’t take the bra off……the other girl was taking her Jeans off and then I did start praying….the problem was that no one explained to the camera operator that if you shoot on digital 16.9  it makes girls who are already a bit big into fucking monsters.  

That’s her sex face. 

And that’s the other yoke. So they all go camping and something happens to them….the end. The scariest thing about this movie is some clown gave it 4 stars and an even bigger clown gave these people money to make this shit. There is a story somewhere in it but you won’t find it from hiding behind the couch in case any member of the cast take they re clothes off. This movie is dogshit.

THE WITCH 

What the fuck this movie is about i have no idea….it’s full of people saying shit like ” good morror neighbour” so half the time you have no idea who or what they are talking about. So anyway this family of eejets get kicked out  of main group of eejets and set up a farm outside the eejet compound. Overnight they have a farm….how …fuck knows and then the baby disappears.

So they all look puzzled and instead of looking for the baby they…well do nothing. The parents in this movie are a perfect match….they are both complete tools here is the father…I don’t know if he was ment to look like jesus…

I couldn’t find a picture of the mother so here’s a picture of a fucking rabbit that keeps popping up in the movie.

So anyway I have no idea what happens in this movie except there is a super hot girl in the woods with a great rack. I could nt find her picture either so here is a random girl in a red cloak

This movie is for those people who go ” oh you mean you didn’t get it” and look at you all smug as you send they re teeth flying across the room with a slap of a baseball bat ” did you get that ya bastard “. This movie is totally crap…..and why they don’t show more of the girl with great rack I don’t know and what’s  the story with the fucking rabbit…..I’m lost.

Where is scream queen goddess Tara Reid….tricked you ….that’s tomorrow…hahahahaha ( see what these bad movies have done to me)

So until tomorrow guys and gals…do not watch these movies…they are bad for you

Love you all guys and gals 

Here’s Tara 

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