SAVE ME NOW- BAD MOVIES PART ONE

Dear God how do some these movies get made. I know if your a film student and you think your the next big thing ( i was a film student) and you want to go out and make a movie on a budget of €10 and you want to use the hot girl in the class because you want her knickers as a souvenir of you first movie….let me give you a piece of advice… don’t. 

These are the first mistakes made by wannabe film makers….the hot girl in the class….well unless you ve got a decent camera man ( which you wont) she going to end up looking a fat ass on screen so any chance of the ride is out.Also anyone you have working with you will want to give you advice…so your fucked because everyone will want the shot done differently. Welcome to the movie industry….starting to see why there is no friendships  in Hollywood. 

To make it in any business you ve gotta be a bad ass  ( I’m finding that out the hard way) there is no loyalty, there is no help and there most of all is no support. Now go to the movie industry it’s 10 times worse. You have got to cut ties with reality,throw yourself into the fake world of shit and realise….it ain’t you who makes the the money…it’s the old guy sitting the chair who nods or shakes his head….that’s what life comes down to in Hollywood…get used to it.

But we re here to talk about shit crap bad movies. Today I’m going to deal with my personal favourite bad movie….found footage. There is so many found footage films out now that being a Film student should come with life insurance…now don’t get me wrong there is a few good ones….my guess about one out of twenty.  But the majority are crap. I watched one last week about the porn industry except there was no porn, no one got naked and it was just this grease ball driving around in his car for 90 min!!! The makers of these movies ain’t realised it yet why they get release deals or a small bit of funding  from that business that you never you would have thought would not give you money….it’s because you are fucking shit and with you re shit movie released it makes big budget shit movies look better.

Most big studios do this, give small amounts of funding to movies they know will be crap and give a little distribution deal so when they make a big budget movie that is equally crap they will put it on in the same cinema as the low budget movie, the ordinary guy is going to go to the big budget movie ….it’s how it works and if your stupid enough as a film maker to think you draw water because you in the same cinema as the latest big movie….your career is already fucked.

But back to found footage movies….it’s cheap to make and all your mistakes can be covered the works….but who fucking finds the tapes. The orignal “Blair witch project” was a stroke of genius. Say nothing about the marketing…go quite…live low and boom you ve got a box office smash that scared the shit out of people. Move on 20 years and dear God the crap turned out as found footage is terrible. It’s the death nail in the career of a film maker. Unless you ve got the balls to go to the world’s hot spots and but yourself in danger….please I beg you stop making these.

To survive in the movie industry you ve got to learn to say “no fuck you” to people who want to have you make a bad movie. There is too pools….the guys who get the money to make big budget movies and the rest of the people…pool A is very small. So dear film students or film makers or arse bandits…or whatever the fuck you are…if you hear ” found footage ” run for hills take off all your clothes and beat yourself with a fur bush. It ll be less painful than be involved in the movie.

So until tomorrow guys and gals….found footage equals crap….
Love you all guys and gals 

Today’s hot girl is the lass kicker herself Becky Lynch

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