SCREAM QUEENS…AND THAT’S JUST THE GUYS-BAD MOVIES – PART TWO

Why is it when I turn on a horror movie the guys in it are these big buff good looking guys who are the biggest cowards on the planet. Here lies the mistake…first off 99% of us guys don’t look like Calvin Kline models…we are weird looking ugly bastards and if Calvin kline offered me a million dollars to do an advert….(well I’d take it…sorry bad comparison)…he wouldn’t sell much.So why is the body image so important. In big movies the male star ( still a pussy) is good looking but then you get down to the bad horror movies this is where the male cast look like the just fell out of the pub.

I love horror movies. But why do so many new directors think this is an easy start. Grind house was OK for about a minute but it is shit now so why keep trying to remake in this style. I watched this irish horror movie recently and the most horror in it was the cast. The two male actors were covered in boils and stuff and must have slept with the same girl or each other and the female actors had arses that would sink a ship. It’s insulting.

Why not make a decent thriller or drama on a low budget, it can be done. And if it turns out to be shit….well least it was nt just another shit horror movie. Hollywood is full of dreamers….at the airport in LA the terminals for arriving  and departing are kept about a mile apart…why…so the thousands of hopefuls arriving daily don’t see the thousands of used beaten people that Hollywood  has destroyed leaving. 

Bad movies have they re place. They make good movies great and keep shit actors in work but while writing this i ve hit on something that is worrying. For every one actor that gets a role,20 don’t. For the most poor actors trying to get a break it don’t happen…they end up working bars if they re lucky or in porn or on skid row if the ain’t lucky. So I say keep making these bad movies…make them till people puke and not because of the horror..if a bad movie keeps a kid off the street ….fuck it I ll watch it. Don’t go to Hollywood unless your a fucking bad ass mofo who can walk in to a gimp of a directors office take out a gun and say gimme the fucking role ( ah don’t do that by the way because your next role will be hanging  on to some guys pocket in prison) but you see how hard you gotta be. There is no room for anything or anyone else.

Why do the guys always run away in movies now? If some guy is following me it’s ” right buddy your fucking head is coming clean off” and if I lose and he uses me as sex doll for months on end well least I tried. Here is the Porta Gregor formula for a bad  movie. Get stupid male actors that look good…get more hot female actors than the guys and get some weirdo actor ( ex girlfriend would do nicely) and loads of sex and skimpy outfits for the girls who all get killed one by one …by a crazied killer who has no penis because he got caught in the gears of a tractor or some kinda shit…oh did I mention it’s a love story/drama…..if all else fails stick Cara Delevingne ..then you know is crap

So until tomorrow guys and gals…keep watching all movies…write a movie…fall in love with movies…it’s don’t matter bout good or bad…but please don’t put your penis in the gears of a tractor..
Love you all guys and gals 

Today’s goddess is Blake Lively 

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