I hate Christmas. It’s not that I’m a Grinch or want everyone to be down about it, Christmas for me usually means I’m sick, and this year is no different. I ve very bad health and I’m fucked up…you wanna know about it…ask and I ll tell all but I’m not going to be a loser who whines about the struggles like all these fake mental illness people coming out. But yesterday as I thought I was dead again a strange thought popped into my head….the 3 girls I have loved in my life ( if I’m to be totally honest I ve loved every girl I dated…except the one I almost married…weird) so as I thought that was it for Porta Gregor I thought about these girls and how much I miss them at Christmas. Everyone has someone that they miss at this time of the year so remember them even if they don’t remember you 

1. ” A” . She was a girl who loved me unconditionally but I was too young, stupid and drunk to know that and  it took me years to work that out. I miss her anger and passion and after years of trying to get her to forgive me….I ve given up. I didn’t cheat on her or do anything bad I just regret that I ever left her. But looking back I needed to go because I was a mess. Now at 37 I’m together but my body is giving up so maybe I ll trying once more to just get her to forgive me so I can forgive myself. I think she has a child now and I hope she’s happy but during the silly season she always haunts me….or should I say I let myself be haunted by her memory….I miss ya ” A” always will.

2. “S” . She was from eastern Europe. Probably the most beautiful girl I ve ever met..what she saw in me I don’t know, but when she walked into a bar every guy had to have his girlfriend pick his jaw off the floor…she was a  truly beautiful sexy woman…who knew it. When I met her I wasn’t as sick as I am now so we went on loads of trips and stuff…but I knew she couldn’t stay with me. All my commitments were in a small town in Ireland and with my health no matter how hard it planned I could never be as free as her ( this is a girl who was used to living in new York over looking central park) so we parted ways. I think she married so billionaire guy and I hope she did because she really looked stunning just wearing diamonds…

3 ” G” . A girl from recently. She was the only one that I spoke to about my health and problems. She really is a great girl but lives on the other side of the world. I really loved talking to her except now she refuses to ever speak to me again because I  support Trump!! Yes she’s a leftie who thinks the world will stop turning when Trump takes office. I suppose I could have just agreed with her to keep her happy…but it was her who wanted to not talk again …. all over an election. ” G” if you read this i miss you but I think I’d rather the memory of you rather than talk to you again…I love you in my memories but to be as fickle as to let go of 20 year friendship go on account of an election…I don’t know that person or want too.

There you have it….3 girls I ve loved and still do. That’s one of the reasons I hate Christmas is that it makes me think about these girls. I won’t be getting married nor will I be having kids ( it’s my decision so I don’t feel I need to explain it) and with being seriously sick every fucking Christmas…I hope you can see why I don’t like this time of year.

We need to remember those we ve lost or let go or whatever. If you forget those in your past then you will have no one in your future and in the present you ll just be one of those assholes telling old jokes on a high stool in some back water,inbred, shit brick bar…it’s sad to see those guys because all they have is a few girls they treated like shit in they re past and ain’t learned from it and keep looking for the next one nighter . No love, no life, just 3 minute drunk sex with a 10 pint girl ( number of pints ypu need in you before you would get up on her) and a large bottle of Guinness….that’s the sum of they re lives. I hope they read this and go ” shit that is me” and call someone before too many years pass and there is no one to call.

So until tomorrow guys and gals…” A”, “S” and ” G” merry Christmas and I love each of you differently 
Love you all guys and gals…

Here’s Megan Fox….

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